Recently, I discovered the song “Though You Slay Me” by Shane and Shane. It really hit me because of the stage of life I’m in right now. In a few years, it will be my 20th Reunion for my High School Graduation. 20 years. I remember when I thought today was a far distant future I would never see. I had a lot of plans and a lot of ideas of what my life would look like today and who would be part of it.
So, when I first heard the lyrics, “I come to the one…the one who’s torn me apart. You struck down to build me up…” My first thoughts weren’t about God actually “slaying” me. I’m thankful that I live in a country where fear of death because of my faith is not something I regularly have to deal with. No, my thoughts went to how God has torn me apart and built me back up again.
Images of a college graduate who received a degree, but ended up not working in that field at all; a couple who struggles to have a baby after years of dreaming; someone who just can’t seem to lose weight because of health issues and hormone imbalances and years of bad habits; being too poor to travel the world and see all the things there is to see. The list could go on of all the ways my dreams have been dashed, my bubbles have been burst, and things didn’t go the way I planned for them to be.
A harder life. A blessed life. A happy life. The chorus of the song came on, “Though You slay me, yet I will praise You. Though You take from me, I will bless Your name. Though You ruin me, still I will worship. Sing a song to the one who’s all I need.” and I thanked God for “slaying” the life I had in mind. Because I’m not in my chosen career field, I get to stay home and work and be with the two beautiful kids I eventually had. I’m surrounded by friends and family and I’m part of a ministry where I feel loved, where I can bless others, and where I am constantly reminded of who God is.
It’s never easy to be torn apart, but I thank God He did just that and for what He gave me instead.